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The Gatwick Hotel is Gatwick’s newest and most luxurious hotel to date. We offer 6 star accommodation and state of the art facilities, all just a stones throw from the world’s busiest single runway airport.

The team behind The Gatwick Hotel brings over 50 years of hotel management experience. And with it, 50 years of hard earned cynicism.

When we originally embarked on this project, we had humble hopes of turning a small profit.
But now, with our financial commitments, local competition and economic meltdown combined, we are left with little option but to sell this magnificent hotel far short of its true and fair worth. If we’re lucky we can keep the loan sharks at bay and stave off inevitable humiliation of bankruptcy for another month.

And so, with heavy hearts, we invite you to sample our wares for a frankly pathetic sum. An overpaid marketing super-graduate has convinced us that a loss-leader strategy will pay off in the long-run. If it doesn’t he’ll be an unemployed, previously overpaid marketing super-graduate. If it does work… well, we’ll probably sack him anyway!

We’ve done our research. Our target demographic is angry, impatient and rude. In other words, they’re the general public. They’re you. You want the proverbial moon on a stick. Not that stick. Not that moon. I’m not paying for that, half of it’s in shadow! Etc…

We are under no illusions. We know that no matter how wonderful our hotel, how fantastic the price and how comprehensive and well organised our services, we will not satisfy you. In fact we will invariably only succeed to anger and dismay you. So why sugarcoat it?

We are ready to thouroughly dissapoint you.

But at least we’re cheap. Please remember that when you’re mauling us on Tripadvisor.com!